The First Day of School

Well, dear readers, today was the first day of school. I'm sure this fact is more significant to some of you than it is for me. Which, to tell the truth, is very odd. Not sad, not wonderful, just...odd.

I keep reminding myself that I won't be going to classes or lectures this year. I won't be writing papers or putting together projects for a grade and, when summer comes again, I'll simply do exactly what I've been doing for the past several months.

When I thought about this, I realized, for, perhaps, the first time that the last time I spent a year, not in school, I was going to daycare and singing songs about rubber duckies in a bath tub. Yes, this is the first time since I was four years old that I haven't had a first day of school.

Thinking about it, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself now. I mean, I know that I'm free to go to work and after that, do what ever I want. I know that now I can persue a career, go places that I want to do, buy things with an income and build a life for myself. But, I'm not exactly sure whether or not I'm ready for it.

I'm twenty four years old and, really, I don't know how to be an adult.

That seems a strange confession to make. But, there it is. I mean, I love my job. I like my church, I love my car. I'm pretty happy with my life in general but I can't help thinking that there must be more to it than that. I suppose I just have to get going with my career. It's not just going to start itself after all.

Maybe I need a change of scenery. As much as I like San Antonio I've certainly never fancied being stuck here and, while I don't really seem stuck any more, I don't feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I've thought about going to Graduate school. I actually started filling out applications last year before I decided to take a year off first. Now, I'm not sure whether or not Grad school is right for me.

One plus is that it could get me to someplace I want to be. Like England or New York. Down side, is I've got to go to school full time and work at least part time as well and, to tell the truth, I'd probably be putting my career off more than getting it started. Not to mention that I'm not sure I could get a scholarship or grant. And the last thing I need right now is another student loan. Then again, Graduate school has a way of opening a lot of doors. I would get more good training and it looks fairly impressive on a resume.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just afraid of not being in school ever again. To actually have to grow up. It is a pretty scarry prospect when you stop to think about it.

What do you think dear blog readers? Is graduate school a viable possibility or am I simply longing to go back to the familiar world of school and college? Should I change my life in a different way? Perahps join the Peace Corps? (I've actually considered this, belive it or not. And, I still haven't ruled it out. It sounds like it would be a good experience).

I'll leave you with these questions for tonight.

Good night my dear sextet!

More Book Review Promises

It is one week away still, however, I can promise you, without a doubt that you, my dear blog reading sextet, will be graced with a wonderful book review this Friday.

'How do you know this?' I hear your six lovely voices call out to me in unison.

Well, my dear readers, I know this, not because I am overly confident in my book reviewing abilities (for proof scroll down to the last book review I did. Let's just say, the New York Times will not be clammoring for my services anytime soon.), I know this because I have just begun the most amazing book I have read in a long, long time.

So far, I am only a little less than two chapters in, however, The Hunger Games by Suzane Collins promises to be one of the best books I have read since I was introduced to a skinny black haired eleven year old with glasses and a cool scar.

I'll wait until Friday to give you the prefunctory premise and summary of the book. I can tell you that I've cried twice so far, and, again, I'm only begining the third chapter. It is increadibly well written, the characters seem increadibly well developed and I'm excited to see where this story will take me.

So, despite all the shallow, uninteresting posts as of late, I can promise you that you will want to stay tuned for Fridays book review. The subject, if not the reviewer, will make it worth your while.

Well, since it's Sunday and I'm trying to get an early start on work tomorrow, I'm going to say good night and leave you with yet another extremely short blog post. Don't worry, the promise of a wonderful Friday review looms.

Until then...

From Lance to Luna

Hello blog readers, guess what semi-miracle occured today? I got a new car!

And, when I say "new" I mean a brand new, 2010, Toyota Carola! She is silver, drives like a dream and her name is Luna. Continuing with the Harry Potter theme, I named the best car I have ever owned after my favorite Harry Potter character. Though "owned" is kind of misleading.

Technically, I'm leasing this car. I make payments on it and they own it for three years. Then, I either get to buy it or exchange it for a newer model.

Still, it's beautiful really. It's silver colored has a CD player, turns on a dime and accelerates faster than you can blink. Really, it's lucky for me that Toyotta had all those problems because that means that no one wants to buy their cars, which means that broke college graduates like me get really, really good deals on increadibly wonderful cars.

My mom's a bit miffed that I now own a nicer car than she does. But, I told her she'll get to drive it occasionally and that made her feel better.

So, after care shoping, we went to the pool again. Which means that I am, once again very, very sleepy. Being in the pool does that for some reaosn. However, I feel increadibly good as I've been blessed with a new car, I have a great job and guess what else dear blogg reading sextet...my Sister's comming!

That's right, the married sister who lives in New York, the one I haven't seen since Thanksgiving. Granted "that" sister is the only biological sister I have, still, in case you didn't know...I'm excited about her comming.

So, Sarah, can't wait to see you. To my other five blog readers, I bid you good night.

Friday Life Review

I have a confession: I didn't read a book this week.

See, my Mom's mostly been taking me to work and when I AM on the bus, my time is now consumed with my Tetris obession (I'm begining to think I have a problem). Because of that and my fatigue when I get home at night, I haven't (reallly) done anything worthwhile or productive with my time at all.

I've been searching the internet, watching Star Trek, working and blogging. And, to tell the truth, I hardly notice that I'm wasting my own time while I'm doing it. It's become so routine for me not to do anything that when I don't do anything nothing seems a miss.

Despite this, there are nights like tonight which make me realize how much more awesome my life would be if I would just get up. I guess this night inspired me to think about my life. So, since you don't have a book review, maybe, you can consider this a...life review?

See, tonight I did do something. I went to a concert at our church.

'A concert at a church?' you ask.

'Kurt Whelan' I'll answer.

Now most of you are probably asking yourselves 'who?' at which point I will begin to wave statistics at you about platinum jazz, saxaphone records, eight emmy nominations and inform you that he is, the greatest jazz saxaphoneist of our time and one of the last great jazz musicians.

(For proof check wikipedia, which is right about everything:

However, his talent and musicality were not what inspired me to get out of my stationary life and 'get on up'. Kurt did this whole concert for free to promote a new private middle school for boys in an inner city neighborhood.

He also preached durring the concert and seemed to have something to say to everyone. He talked about what I've been saying to anyone who will listen. About how we're all in this world together and that we must band together to make a difference.

It's amazing how he's been able to use his gift. While in the concert, I started to realize, I have gifts to and, really, I've been amazingly selfish with them. I have all these plans, which I don't really do much to make come about. All of which, are also, very selfish.

I realized tonight, that I don't want to sing or perform just for me. Whatever I can do, I want to do it for God and to help other people. The talents I have aren't mine, after all, they really belong to God. It's about time I got out of the way and let him do what he wants with them.

So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get out of the way and ask God to use me however he wants to use me.

So...sorry if that was a bit preachy. (I mean next thing you know, I'll be wanting to 'minister' to you and 'tell you what's on my heart' and using other terrifying church staple phrases). I had to give you something interesting after promising to give you a book review and then having no book to give. I hope you have enjoyed this life review.

Until tomorrow!

A Nice monetary quick fix

So, it turns out that Lance, the PT Cruiser isn't the car for me. We went back to the dealer and, well, let's just say that it wasn't the deal that I thought it was. So, I was on the bus again today.

It's not so bad actually. Especially now that I've downloaded tetris onto my cell phone. I'm getting pretty good at it, actually. Especially now that I've figured out how to rotate the peices. (And, in case you're wondering, yes, I am that pathetic).

Still, despite massive ammounts of time for tetris playing and perfecting, the bus does make me very sleepy as I have to catch the bus at 6:46Am in order to get to work by 8:30.

I really, really, really need a car. Or I need to go to bed earlier, get lots of excercize, cut back on greasy, heavy foods and generally, live a better life. Given the choice between a total life style change and a quick monetary fix...I'll take the quick monetary fix.

So, a new car it is. And hey, maybe when I get one, ten pounds will miraculously fall off of my body and I will be instantly compelled to eat vegetables and make regular trips to the gym. Yes, the right car could change everything.

I'm really tired so, I'm going to say good night.

Good night!

Homesick

So, blogosphere, guess what was on PBS tonight?

'What?' I ask in your place.

South Pacific, the revival! Yes, Kelli O'hara saw fit to grace my television screen with (what should have been) her tony award winning performance.

To save you some time, I'm going to revleive your worries and tell you that I will not give you a review of the show filled with my usual rants about how no one can play the male lead in South Pacific like Enzio Pinza (however true that might be).

No, instead, I want to talk about how, somewhere between 'I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair' and 'Younger than Spring time' I began to feel increadibly homesick. See, as much as I love my new job, as much as I like my life right now, a part of me posotively aches to be on stage.

I know it sounds cliche, and it is, but a lot of cliches are true...that's how they became cliches.

I'm sure a lot of performers understand what I mean. And, if you're not a performer, well...it's hard to explain. I guess the best way to explain the feeling of not being on stage or a part of a show for a while is the way you feel when you've been away from home for a long time.

You don't really notice at first. When you've been somewhere far away from home long enough, it becomes sort of normal and you don't realize you miss it. Then something stupid and insignificant happens: you see a picture, you hear a song, you eat soup, you see, hear, feel something that reminds you of home and, out of no where you feel a pain in your chest.

I heard a song I'd heard a thousand times before, sung the way I've heard it sung a thousand times and that pang in my chest came flooding in with a vengance. Suddenly, I was crying when I wasn't supposed to be crying.

I was sitting on my couch, my blanket curled around my knees wishing, for the first time in weeks, that I could be somewhere else. I wanted to be on that stage. Not that stage specifically, but any stage. I knew what the feeling was, I wanted to go home.

I know some people, some of you probably, think that this feeling is riddiculous and silly and I should just give it up and move on to something else. But...it's not as easy as that. Again, it's hard to explain but it's definately not something one can just drop and forget about.

That is why I will always perform. No matter what. It's not a choice, really. It's just something I've got to do.

I know that was overly sentimental and sappy but...it's late and my mind takes very sentimental turns this late at night.

Until tomorrow...

Some Grown ups love their jobs

So, dear blog readers, it's story time:

Once upon a time (circa 1994), I had a lovely music teacher who not only told me that we couldn't sing christmas carols because, and I quote: "Hitler was a Christian", she also said that no adult likes his or her job.

The first claim she made was completely and utterly historically inaccurate (http://www.trueorigin.org/hitler01.asp). As it turns out, the second claim was just as mis guided as the first.

See, here's the reason I know that the worst teacher I ever had was wrong about the second claim: I LOVE my job.

I spent the morning knowing exactly what I had to get done, I knew exactly when I had to do it, yet still, there was no rush. I know what I've got to get done but I do it at my own pace. And when that's done, I can move on to the next thing. No more grabbing for phones before they ring more than 2x only to hear some customer on the other end expecting me to appologize for something that I had absolutely nothing to do with.

I don't HAVE to answer to customers about things I know nothing about anymore. I don't have to get my data entry done while also answering those three very important alarms. I'm starting to realize that this is the reason why I went to college. So that I wouldn't HAVE to answer telephones all day, so that I wouldn't HAVE to work weekends.

I can create power points and find pictures of television shows on the internet and write out descriptions of TV shows which make them sound more enticing and exciting than they really are! I know that might sound a bit dull to all of you, but for me, it's AMAZING!

I mean, I still want to persue a career in music and acting however, I'm starting to realize that that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the job I have while I'm reaching for that goal. I'm starting to realize that having a good job doesn't mean I've given up on my dream, it just means I am allowed to like my day job and, lucky for me, I finally do.

So, moral of the story kids: if anyone tells you you're not supposed to like your job, tell them, from me, Hitler was NOT a christian.

Until tomorrow....