The First Day of School

Well, dear readers, today was the first day of school. I'm sure this fact is more significant to some of you than it is for me. Which, to tell the truth, is very odd. Not sad, not wonderful, just...odd.

I keep reminding myself that I won't be going to classes or lectures this year. I won't be writing papers or putting together projects for a grade and, when summer comes again, I'll simply do exactly what I've been doing for the past several months.

When I thought about this, I realized, for, perhaps, the first time that the last time I spent a year, not in school, I was going to daycare and singing songs about rubber duckies in a bath tub. Yes, this is the first time since I was four years old that I haven't had a first day of school.

Thinking about it, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself now. I mean, I know that I'm free to go to work and after that, do what ever I want. I know that now I can persue a career, go places that I want to do, buy things with an income and build a life for myself. But, I'm not exactly sure whether or not I'm ready for it.

I'm twenty four years old and, really, I don't know how to be an adult.

That seems a strange confession to make. But, there it is. I mean, I love my job. I like my church, I love my car. I'm pretty happy with my life in general but I can't help thinking that there must be more to it than that. I suppose I just have to get going with my career. It's not just going to start itself after all.

Maybe I need a change of scenery. As much as I like San Antonio I've certainly never fancied being stuck here and, while I don't really seem stuck any more, I don't feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I've thought about going to Graduate school. I actually started filling out applications last year before I decided to take a year off first. Now, I'm not sure whether or not Grad school is right for me.

One plus is that it could get me to someplace I want to be. Like England or New York. Down side, is I've got to go to school full time and work at least part time as well and, to tell the truth, I'd probably be putting my career off more than getting it started. Not to mention that I'm not sure I could get a scholarship or grant. And the last thing I need right now is another student loan. Then again, Graduate school has a way of opening a lot of doors. I would get more good training and it looks fairly impressive on a resume.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just afraid of not being in school ever again. To actually have to grow up. It is a pretty scarry prospect when you stop to think about it.

What do you think dear blog readers? Is graduate school a viable possibility or am I simply longing to go back to the familiar world of school and college? Should I change my life in a different way? Perahps join the Peace Corps? (I've actually considered this, belive it or not. And, I still haven't ruled it out. It sounds like it would be a good experience).

I'll leave you with these questions for tonight.

Good night my dear sextet!